Many years ago, I was young and stupid. At 19 years old, I married the preacher’s son.Told you I was young and stupid, didn’t I?
My relationship education up until that time was courtesy of strict parenting that had one foot in church and none in the real world. My parents’ view on sex was unambiguous: abstinence, no alternatives, and no acknowledgment of any other option. This was in the 1970’s, the era of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, in no particular order. While the rest of the world was steeped in the Beatles and the Stones, my life was wrapped around The Old Rugged Cross and Rock of Ages. And fights.
Lots and lots of fights.
Like so many people, I learned early that I didn’t want what my parents had. I knew I wanted something better. I just didn’t have a clue what it was.
That’s true for so many of us, and a huge reason why so many of us go through one bad relationship after another without figuring out how to make a permanent change. You can break the cycle and find a relationship with a person you love and respect, and who loves and respects you in return. It’s possible to find someone who treats you well. It’s possible to go for weeks or months without an argument. What’s more, it’s possible that disagreements can exist without deteriorating into the kinds of destructive, screaming exchanges that serve no purpose but to wound and destroy.
The methods I outline in this book are simple enough that anyone can do them. They don’t require a college degree or complex mathematics. Everything is arranged in steps, allowing you to build on one step to get to the next, with straightforward explanations of why it matters at each level.
Each of the things I recommend, I’ve done myself and can vouch that it works. I culled some of the best advice from several sources, including brilliant friends, books, and professionals. This book cuts straight to the chase, because I suspect you’re ready to do the same.
L D Doornbosch grew up in the Midwest, in a suburb of Waterloo, Iowa. She moved to Arizona as a teen, where she still resides today. She spent twenty years in broadcast news, on and off the air, before a career move to technology. Throughout her life, she created technical and practical manuals for work related topics. With her first book, Finding Keepers, she shifted her focus to creating a manual on personal relationships, one with step-by-step instructions on the process of finding the right person.